All is flux

The following is a personal, open letter of sorts (to myself and to her), from the totally emotional, restless Michaela (that's me), who likes to babble from time to time...

Now back to my train of thought (you don't have to read this, I just wanted to get it off my chest): Currently it is early on Sunday morning. On Monday (which is tomorrow), bestie of ten+ years (and you've heard all this before) is moving to Japan. I'm going to her house early in the morning before she leaves for the airport. The house she practically grew up in, in the neighborhood where we became friends, a stone's throw away from my first American home. When I think about it now that's probably why I love the gal so much. So much of my life here included her in it (and I do mean my actual life, starting at the age when I became aware of myself), that it's hard to imagine what it'll be like without being able to "roundtable" at Starbucks, what it'll be like to not know for sure when the next time I'm gonna see her is. I associate her with my childhood, even if it's just the tail-end of that childhood, which now seems so long ago. And now that our little group is at that delicate age at which we are truly adults (yikes), her leaving only cements the fact that this is where it (whatever the hell 'it' is) has to start.

So here I am going back and forth between finishing design projects and blogging because my poor little heart just can't take it. Let me tell you, ten years really have a way of whizzing by. Lately, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, I've been in a haze of overactivity. Like I can't get anything done, and there is too much to do, and there is never enough time. There is never enough time. To hang out, to talk, to squeeze in all the time we can with the gal, all the while still doing actual work. I'm sure that in the few days after Monday, things will slow down to their usual crawl, and I'll wake up in the mess on my desk and realize just how much I need to clean that up. And in my own little corner of the world, as it has always had a knack of doing, life goes on.

You, bestie, have nowhere to go but forward. You have a home anywhere you need it, and the love and support of everyone around you, no matter what happens from here on out. And, random, but I must say, I can't wait to meet all those hypothetical children of yours. You deserve the very best kind of life, and I'm so happy that you have the will and the heart to go get it.

So go get it.

I'll see you when I see you,
M